Snap!

The smell of death was heavy and thick. They parted to let me in to the bathroom where I assumed the deceased lay. I stood there in the doorway as my eyes fleetingly scanned. My heart felt heavy and my eyes filled.

He lay slumped against the wall. Blood that drained from his slashed wrist trailed into a pool on the tiles. Its ghastly contrast of red against the white tiled floor screamed volumes in my head.  A razor blade, stained with blood-  his blood- gleamed in the light. The mobile phone had been removed from his palm I believed.  I was told that he had dialed my number lastly. I felt guilty for not waking up to answer. It was around three  in the morning when he had dialed.

He had called for help. One cannot imagine when a mind can snap under depression. I was merely his counsel, his escape from the dark hours of the night, just a voice. Lately he had demanded to talk regular, but I had my issues. I was travelling and fatigue caught up at times. Stares from his family members staked through me. Anguish or simply blame?  The detective guided me out of the house. In a soft library voice he told me that it would be better for me to go home.

His words haunted my sleep.

“How can I forget her memories? It hurts me to think”. He had asked

“Try avoiding things that reminds you. Don’t listen to the same songs, change environment, go out with friends,  etc”

“I can understand why people feel like dying. Do you know why they commit suicide?”

“Yes” I remember telling him. “They are too weak to face their failures that they want someone else to be blamed and to live in guilt. It’s not putting an end to their problems. It’s putting an end to their lives.”

“Will it hurt you if I die?” he had asked.

“I don’t want you to even think about death.”

“But will it hurt you?”

“I will be sad, yes.”

“Why?”

 “You’re my friend. I like helping you by talking like this.”

“We haven’t even met.”

 “Eventually we will. If necessary.”

“You’re very different. In a good way. I just wish————-.“ 

 Silence.

The line had gone dead.

That was two days prior to his act.